a month already...

I've read the accounts of Jesus raising the dead in the New Testament many times. But I've never imagined how it would feel to be mourning the loss of a loved one and have Jesus walk into the room and raise them alive from the casket until this year. I mean...could there be anything more WONDERFUL?!

One month ago I wanted Jesus to walk into our dining room at the Baby Home so bad and raise baby Joel out of an awful box. But really, He had already raised him up, into His own arms rather than ours.

I wasn’t sure if I was going to share this with “everyone”, but today I feel like it’s time. Maybe it can comfort others, if just a little, who grieve with us. Most of you know that we had very few answers on May 28, as to why Joel and why so fast, and what had happened? I continued consulting with pediatricians and nurses and, finally, a US emergency room doctor currently living in Cochabamba. (I am so, so grateful for each one who took the time to talk to me or my family, as we sought answers and any way to prevent the same thing from happening again. Overall, each one was very encouraging and a blessing in a very hard time, saying that there was nothing we could have done and, "Don't feel bad, these things happen with babies". But of course you never think it would happen to your precious baby.)

So with what we understand now, and knowing that there are few options since he was so healthy before, it seems most likely that Joel's heart just stopped beating due to cardiomyopathy or an undetected congenital heart defect. That is the only answer that has made any sense to me, because from the first awful minute all I could think of was that something happened with his heart.

It was also relieving to learn that studies say babies do not die from aspirating vomit (much less when there was no sign of Joel having thrown up). The ER doctor who saw him at the clinic on May 28 was grasping at straws for a reason, and cardiomyopathy is not often considered in babies so other issues are blamed.

More than ever, learning all this reiterated that Joel had a set number of days to live and it thrills me that he was able to receive so much love and attention his 2 months and 2 days in our "family".

I really appreciate the kind words today at church from various missionary friends who have been traveling and are just now seeing me, and those who are worried and praying with us over this latest round of sicknesses in the homes.

For a little update on that, we had no new cases of scarlet fever over the weekend, PTL! First thing this morning I went to CDA III and cleared their kids to go to church, as all were happy and chipper...well minus L., but he's well on the mend. I took him some new itch cream to try, for which he was very grateful. Here's a picture I took, but his "sandpaper rash" doesn't show up very well here. Looks very irritating/painful. Volunteer Sarah, who's been with Angel since he became so ill 8 days ago, aptly summed it up when she told me today "I think I'd rather get swine flu than scarlet fever!!"




And now, signing off, for I must wrap bandages bake for tomorrow’s night staff party (which right now I am continuing with, but if plans change due to new cases or something, well, brownies will never go to waste!)...

Florence Nightingale Jennifer