Child History 12.0

Each child comes with their own unique story:
heart breaking, tragic, with conflicting details, many unknowns and doubts...or all of the above. Here's the story of siblings in the Baby Home.

When we got the call about Mary*, we already had a newborn in the house. However for some reason, we took her in. She arrived after office hours on August 19, 2008, at five days old. I always remember taking her to the pediatrician that evening with my sister Emma because our parents were going out. Then we went out to eat together, enjoying our new little sleeping bundle. =)

The reports say that Mary’s mother is mentally ill and has lived on the streets for many years, since she was a teen, and is often taken advantage of. Although she was a model when younger, she got in with the wrong crowd and has never been the same since.

Eventually the grandmother appeared and while interviewing her, we found out that Mary had a brother. Michael had lived in another baby home his whole life and was now 1 1/2. Since we had already bonded with Mary, we of course voted to bring him to us rather than send her to him, and the other baby home, overcrowded, readily agreed with our decision.

It took a long time for everyone to get their act together and he finally arrived on December 22, our Christmas present. Unfortunately, the other home had failed to mention that they were in the middle of a chicken pox epidemic. On Christmas Eve Jennifer was changing Michael for bed after festivities and noticed too many spots to be ignored. Thus began a horrendous season in all the homes of chicken pox, with each cycle of the virus more vicious than the last. Almost all the kids still have scars.

Michael and Mary’s mother alternates between living on the streets and a psychiatric hospital. She abandoned both babies at the hospital after they were born and has never visited them. We have been unable to speak with her since she is often high from sniffing glue and very violent.

Mercifully, Michael does not appear to show signs of damage from his mothers’ addictions….unless you call having a superior attitude and wanting to be treated like a king at all times a problem! He’s a cute toddler with a great sense of humor. He plays little jokes on the staff all the time, like hiding so that everyone will search for him, or doing silly things to make everyone laugh.

We are less convinced that Mary has not been affected by her mothers’ addictions and trauma. Only time will tell if she suffers lasting damage. For now she is growing and developing fairly well, and is good at entertaining herself—helpful in a house with so many!

Michael and Mary’s maternal grandmother visits them regularly but is not in a position to care for them. The siblings’ papers are currently in the court to be processed towards providing both with a loving adoptive family.


*Names are changed

Pictures from top of post to bottom:
1) Baby Mary (right) the night she arrived, 5 days old
2) Michael dressed up like a bug (he loves being silly and playing jokes!)
3) Mary at 1 year
4) The two together, Easter 2009

Help provide loving care for Michael & Mary for $50/month through Casa de Amor's child sponsorship program. Download THIS form to start!

Child History 11.0

Each child comes with their own unique story:
heart breaking, tragic, with conflicting details, many unknowns and doubts...or all of the above. Here's the story of a dear little boy at Casa de Amor III.

When Lucas'* mother was 4 years old, her mother died and her father remarried. The four young children were left to wander the streets and make do as they could. During a children's outreach, a missionary couple couldn't help but take pity on the filthy, sick, hungry youngsters. The youngest was admitted to the hospital and passed away from malnutrition and other complications. The oldest three began living in the missionaries' boarding school. Lucas' mom's eye tumor was operated on and since then she has a prosthetic eye.

While still a young teenager, she left the boarding school, quickly falling into life on the street and all its vices. When Lucas was born, it wasn’t long before she was leaving him with her father, far out of the city, for increasingly

longer periods of time. However, in 2008 the grandfather had a stroke which left him partially paralyzed and bedridden. He made the difficult decision to place Lucas in a children’s home where he would have more opportunities and education as he grew. (Just a couple months later he passed away.)

Concerned neighbors brought Lucas to government offices, at which point we were called. And I was called, all the way in Texas! I just happened to be in the US for a brief visit on July 10, 2009, and will always remember saying yes to him while standing in the doctor's office where my sister worked.

Lucas arrived a sweet, quiet, shy 4 year old. Coming directly from the countryside, he understood more Quechua than Spanish, had a fear of toilets (something new for him), and teeth so rotted and decayed he would lose pieces of them when eating crunchy food. During his first months at CDA, Lucas had over 15 teeth removed!

Apart from all the scary “firsts” and doctor/dentist visits, Lucas bonded very quickly with his new family at CDA III and his love for them is obvious! He is an affectionate, bright boy, and he loves to get and give as many hugs during the day as he can. His favorite things to do are ride on the toy cars outside and go places in the car, where he is mesmerized by every scene. The Alseth family and staff are working on teaching him preschool and computer skills, clearer speech, how to be confident, and what God is like.

His mother continues in an unstable lifestyle and has ceased visiting, so Lucas’ papers are currently being processed to provide him with a stable, loving adoptive family.


*Name changed

Pictures from top of post to bottom:
1) Shortly after arriving to us
2) Lucas with facepaint
3) Happy 5th Birthday!

Help provide loving care for Lucas for $25/month through Casa de Amor's new child sponsorship program. Download THIS form to start!

Child History 9.0

Each child comes with their own unique story:
heart breaking, tragic, with conflicting details, many unknowns and doubts...or all of the above. Here's the story of my "birthday present" two years ago.

Josue’s story is long and winding. His mother gave birth to a stillborn baby before him, that his father didn’t claim as his. She hadn’t wanted the baby either. Then she got very sick and the doctors said that getting pregnant again would help, so they conceived another. But the mother didn’t want him either and refused to go to the hospital even while in labor. By force she was taken, but she never accepted the baby that was born: Josue.

Soon after she abandoned the family and Josue went to live with an aunt. The aunt mistreated him and this upset the father, so he again took Josue to live with him. Eventually he moved to another city in Bolivia and met another woman. When she passed away suddenly, Josue again lost a mother, and his father had the shock of learning what she had died from: AIDS. Testing revealed that he was now HIV+, as well as the son they had bore together (Josue’s stepbrother).

The boy stayed with his grandparents, while Josue and his devastated father moved back to Cochabamba to begin putting their lives back together. But Josue’s dad was now rejected by his family, and suffering a lot under the weight of all the life changes in such a short time. It was also not working out for Josue to follow his dad around to construction and repair jobs.

So on my birthday in 2007, volunteer Amber and I were running all over the city helping some people who live on the street. In the course of doing that, we spoke with the psychologist of the Catholic’s HIV/AIDS program. She told me about the dilemma of Josue and his dad, and asked if we could possibly help temporarily. I said I’d consult with my staff and get back with her. A couple hours later I was trying to rehearse with the church praise team (I say try because I got there late and my cell kept ringing) and she called back saying “He’s here and wants Josue to move in with you right now!! Can you come talk to him?” Yikes! I ended up leaving rehearsal early and going back to her office downtown.

After talking with the father, a priest, and our psychologist friend, we left for CDA II arriving right after dark. It was sweet to see Josue so excited about going to live with other children. We showed Josue and his father around the home, then joined in the birthday celebration they had planned for me. As if reading my mind that I get really tired of cake, cake, and more cake with our constant birthday parties, the staff and kids had prepared api morado and pasteles de queso with powdered sugar (mas o menos like the desert empanadas here)….yum! So that was Josue’s first “meal” in our home.

...And he is still with us because his father disappeared after 14 months of fairly consistent visits, and many ups and downs with his precarious health. We had the joy of seeing the father become a Christian during those months, and attend church regularly with the home. But then he stopped coming. Finally he's contacted us again and he says he will work with a lawyer to get Josue out, but so far he has not begun. If he never follows through, papers are already being processed to provide Josue with a permanent adoptive family.

Josue is a fun loving, very energetic little boy with a serious side. He is extremely smart, artistic, and shows real talent when working on craft or coloring projects. He also likes playing soccer and learning new words in English and recently started kindergarten. He’s a great student!

A few months ago, I was blessed to be part of Josue's dedication to the Lord at church.

Recently, as he's missed his dad more and more, Josue has changed a lot and has become challenging to the caregivers as they try to love and train him. Pray for God to make real HIS love to Josue, and give him the assurance that HE will never abandon him!


*Name changed


Pictures from top of post to bottom:
1) A thoughtful pose (picture by photographer Brad Collins)
2) Josue's new bed at CDA II
3) Riding a horse
4) Playing on a huge slide in a city park

Help provide loving care for Josue for $25/month through Casa de Amor's new child sponsorship program. Download THIS form to start!

Child History 7.0

Each child comes with their own unique story:
heart breaking, tragic, with conflicting details, many unknowns and doubts...or all of the above. Here's the story of the upward climb in "rehabilitating" one from the street.

Gladis started off life on the streets of Cochabamba with her a teen mother. Around the time she was 2 1/2 years old, a concerned street kid worker was worried enough for her safety and development to report the mother’s irresponsible behavior to the government. In a police raid in August 2007, Gladis (along with other children) was removed from the dirty canal where she lived with other street kid “families” and dogs. She was first sent to a temporary shelter for street girls. Then a few months later, at the request of several people and organizations, was transferred her to Casa de Amor to be able to better coordinate how we should proceed with Gladis and her mother in the future.

Our challenge was to provide Gladis with the right environment and training where she could learn to be a child again, without worrying about survival or acting like a teenager. She arrived with many irrational fears, such as screaming and getting very upset to look outside the window at night, very strong fear of fires, and awaking with night terrors. Her “games” were escaping from robbers who wanted to kill her, and others that scared the other children. There were also signs of an attachment disorder, with difficult behavior such as seeming to get pleasure from the sight of blood (hurting either herself or unsuspecting, even sleeping, babies). And most concerning of all to us was her behavior with the other little boys of the house, doing all she could to get them off alone with her or in her bed, along with other actions I won’t put here.

Everyone falls in love with Gladis quickly though, the Alseth family being no exception. Knowing of all the challenges we’d had with her, they specifically requested that she be the first “candidate” to move into their family style home, Casa de Amor III. She has thrived under their watchful care and constant re-training! It was a very long road the first months as she woke up screaming every single night and as they worked through her other difficulties.

Now she is a completely different child! Still very spunky, strong-willed, and independent, but with a new level of self-control and love for herself and thus others. She enjoys an international fan club of volunteers from around the world who knew her from her street days and occasionally stop into to visit her.

Gladis has also lost many of her teeth, including going under anesthesia for several hours to remove the worst, but at least now she doesn't have constant infections! She does have a cute lisp though.

A little about Gladis, from her sponsorship packet: Gladis loves God and likes to worship Him with her own made up songs and dancing. Her favorite things to do are dance, sing, and stand in the corner. We are working on teaching her preschool and computer skills, that she isn't an adult "quite" yet, what God is like, and how to demonstrate love to other people. She thrives on any kind of attention and soaks it up like a dry sponge.

Since Gladis’ time with us at Casa de Amor, her mother has not tried to reclaim her daughter nor visit her. In August last year, her mother’s new baby—Gladis’ half sister—died in the same street canal. Our baby Gabriela is actually buried right
next to her in the cemetery. Gladis has been assigned an international adoptive family and we just await their arrival sometime this year.

(Update since writing this: her new parents will arrive at the end of May!! We are so excited for them and for "Gladis".)


*name has been changed

Pictures from top to bottom:
1) Gladis on the street
2) Her first days with us
3) Gladis LOVES babies (this was the first picture I took of baby Elias in the Baby Home)
4) At her 4th birthday party

Child History 4.0

Each child comes with their own unique story:
heart breaking, tragic, with conflicting details, many unknowns and doubts...or all of the above. Here's another.

Diego’s family came in from the countryside to work in the city. They lived on one of the “hills” in Cochabamba that is dotted with tiny houses and immersed in poverty. Struggles to survive, alcoholism, violent fights and long working hours put the family at much risk. Eventually Diego’s mother couldn’t take it anymore and began telling the neighbors that she would give away her youngest child, then 2, because he was very disobedient and she didn’t love him anyway. There was no father to protest, or at least the man his mother was living with did not claim Diego as his own son.

The mother found her way to child protection offices where she made known her decision. Reading the answers she gave during an interview are heartbreaking: No, I don’t feel anything for him. No, I won’t miss him or come back for him. After a day of testing her resolve but no change in attitude, we were called and asked to take Diego in. He arrived around dark and sobbed at the gate for his mother. She left town immediately, leaving no information and not returning since according to neighbors of their former shack.

Upon arrived to Casa de Amor, Diego spoke and understood Aymara, a native dialect in Bolivia and one of the three official languages. He had to learn Spanish, which he did very quickly without looking back! He was our biggest talker ever in the Baby Home. He was also an extremely outgoing, active little boy whose favorite activities were going out in my car, talking about my car, carrying on a conversation with anyone who would listen (or not!), playing and talking to the other kids, bursting into spontaneous renditions of Happy Birthday (just as likely to be in English as Spanish), and leading the kids in prayer before meal or snack time. He was a ham for the camera and loved seeing his picture afterwards. Diego also had a genuine love for the babies and always watched out for them.


I say was because Diego now has the incomparable blessing of a NEW stable family!! In fact, tomorrow Diego flies to Spain to begin his new life with his doting parents! I will take a few from the Baby Home to see him off. It will be so hard to see him for the last time! Well until I make it on my round-the-world tour…. We were so blessed by Diego’s presence in our home and his absence is felt.



















Pictures, top to bottom:

1) Mr. Photogenic! The photographer who came in January fell in love with him, as just about everyone does (he fell and got that scar on his forehead the same day we found out he was assigned parents, in Sept. 2008)
2) First picture at Casa de Amor
3) As a wise man, Christmas manger scene photo shoot
4) Taking in the big news, Feb. 2009: parents are on the way!!!
5) Always ready for a good time!


*name has been changed

Child History 2.0

Each child comes with their own unique story:
heart breaking, tragic, with conflicting details, many unknowns and doubts...or all of the above.
Here is the story of two of our very first...

When baby Ben* was just 4 months old and Cora* almost 2, their mother passed away from leukemia. For the first month, their young widowed father tried his best to care for them. He told us how he would take both to a daycare on a bike. But due to his long hours as a construction worker, the daycare would close before he could get back for his children and he was not going to be able to leave them there anymore. We inquired about and interviewed other relatives, but all are from the countryside (far outside the city or VERY far outside the city) and had large families and long work hours of their own. Their mother also had a couple children from a previous relationship so her relatives were already caring for those children.

(Here a whole part of Bolivian culture could come in, about using the word “concubine” just as in Bible times, and how girls are encouraged to “get around” from a young age, and yet there’s the high risk they run with each new partner that their current children will not be accepted, and on and on…)

So after one month alone, their father went into child welfare offices and Casa de Amor was contacted. The children were just our second set of siblings ever, so we were thrilled with the adorable twosome.

Their father visited 1 or 2 Sundays a month (his one day off) for a couple of years. During that time he found out he has Chagas disease, an eventually terminal illness that some 60% of Bolivians are at risk of contracting from the bite of a bug that thrives in adobe structures and hay mattresses.

Then he disappeared. We tried to talk to him, calling him at his work, searching him out at home, questioning relatives. Finally we found out he had a new concubine…and she was pregnant. That explained his disappearance. It broke our hearts because we see the negative affects this has on his children, particularly Cora (he was never close to Ben, and Ben in fact has never brought him up) who always asks where her father is. Is he lost? Can he find me? Why doesn’t he come anymore? How do you answer a 4 or 5 year old who asks this?

One conversation particularly saddened me. I was just out and about with Cora and she announced, “Tia Jennifer, I know why my dad doesn’t come anymore. He is very busy working [our standard answer] because he is building a BIIIGGG house for me and Ben to go and live in.” Then she proceeded to describe how many rooms the house would have, where everyone would sleep, etc.

We have learned much from this case and use the story often with new parents whose kids enter our homes, or in conversations with child welfare or the court about following through with good parents. We always spoke very highly of Cora and Ben’s dad. The staff appreciated his willing help on Sundays, I always had a nice time chatting with him (even if his Spanish was a little funny because his first and main language was Quechua), and Cora looked forward with joy to his visits and cried when he left. But because we never pushed him to take steps to get his kids out, he ended up abandoning them. Granted, they were very young, and we wanted Cora to be safe, but we always wondered what we could have done better or differently. And now in any circumstance possible, where the parent is not an alcoholic or on the street, we do our best to avoid “losing” the mother and/or father.

We did have a meeting with their dad, his new concubine, and their chubby baby boy a few months ago. There the father promised that he would never deny his “flesh and blood” and that he is indeed still the father. I pointed out that being a father is much more than visiting your child…a couple of years ago. We carefully explained to them how they could stop the children from going to new adoptive parents, and they committed to go to the court with a lawyer the very next morning to halt adoption proceedings. I even half believed them, although we’ve been stood up time and time and time again with parents of the kids. They never went.

Now, enough about their sad past, and onto how the kids are! These two are perennial favorites with volunteers from any country, and more than one claims them as their children.

While living in the Baby Home, Cora loved on the babies constantly. We seriously didn’t want to transfer to CDA II because of the help we would lose with the babies! She was a first-rate cloth diaper folder from age 2 on! But we knew that she needed a different type of educational environment to continue to grow so at age 4 we passed her with 3 of her best friends from the Baby Home and she continued to thrive at CDA II. Now at age 5 1/2, Cora still loves playing “house” and mothering anyone younger than herself. She is very smart and a sharp observer of everything going on. During play time, Cora loves playing with dolls, coloring (which she is very good at), dancing with the other little girls, and games and educational toys. Now she is in kindergarten and is doing very well, often winning prizes from the teacher for good behavior.

A funny anecdote from Cora: One day in January I was making constant calls from both the house phone and my cell phone to coordinate things from their recent move into their new home. She started prancing around the room acting all girly, mimicking me talking on the phone. When I finished I told her she was completely silly and started to tickle her. She got a terrified look on her face and said “TIA!! You cannot tickle me!!” Of course I asked why not. She replied in all seriousness, as if her life depended on it, “Because, tía, when people tickle me I. can. not. breathe.” Oh. Ben, now 4, has a way of wrapping himself around the hearts of volunteers from around the world. Whereas his sister is the quieter, more mature one, he is a jabber box who keeps us in stitches with his antics, silly faces, funny phrases, and playful ways. His favorite things to do are play outside, swim, and learn phrases in new languages. I’ll never forget hearing him say his first words in the kitchen of the Baby Home, to a Scottish volunteer we had at the time.

Ben had to have a surgery just a couple weeks after Baby Alex (the last child I wrote on) and subsequent hormone injections. Now we are told he might need another surgery and he has a check up in a few weeks, but otherwise both have always been very hardy, healthy kids.

So that’s the [rather long] story of these two cuties, and I PRAY that their papers continue through the court system at a faster pace than they have been, and that they receive a wonderful loving family sooner rather than later. They will be a blessed addition to any family!

Pictures from top to bottom of post (oh there are SO VERY MANY of these two!! so I'm just picking the first few that jump out at me):

1) The two a couple days after their arrival
2)Ben taking his first steps
3) Cora trying to eat and sleep at the same time
4) Ben, January 2009 (picture by Brad Collins)
5) Cora, January 2009 (picture by Brad Collins)


*names have been changed

UPDATE: Help provide loving care for Cora & Ben for just $50/month through Casa de Amor's new child sponsorship program. Download THIS form to get started!