lovin' the life

Baby JJ, enjoying life

Check out the milk evidence still on his chin (must be what he's dreaming of). Gotta love it!

(Happy Good Friday!)

International Team Time

Once or twice a month we love getting together as the "international volunteer team" of Casa de Amor Children's Homes for a time of worship, prayer, sharing, talking...and of course eating!

I won't speak for the others, but I always have a great time. It's something different from our usual routine and "work" talk, relaxing (unless I'm in charge of music and the devotional), and gives me a chance to step back and "see the big picture". Especially when my family is not here, the volunteers quite naturally become my extended family and closest friends.




The other night our meeting included our volunteers from Idaho, Texas, Canada, New Zealand, California, etc. Oh and the sneak-in baby JJ from Bolivia! We passed the baby around one way and the guitar around the other way, ha! We have a talented bunch; almost everyone in the picture above plays guitar, and even the guys asked for their turn with the baby.

This time Nikki from NZ shared how it is that she and her daughter ended up here, in the middle of their 2009 trek around the world.

Without the hands to do this work, Casa de Amor could never exist.

We are blessed!

Construction 101

Yeah……….and you thought all I did was hold babies. The past two days have been a bit of a crash course in construction as I talk to Nate (missionary), Dan (CDA volunteer), David (CDA’s new administrative assistant), and now as a last-minute surprise, an adoptive father who leads construction projects. We’re all putting our heads together to build a much-needed, multi-purpose room behind the Baby Home. It’s really exciting!!

It was kind of a hard decision to make but after much consultation, prayer, letting the plan mull a couple of months (the idea birthed only a day or two after Gabriela’s death, as we brainstormed how to have more round-the-clock attention), and all the consultation of yesterday, I made the executive decision to go for it. Although we don’t have the cost estimated completely pulled together yet, I’m praying it’s amazingly surprisingly low... Miracles can happen, right?

But already God has given me some “road markers” that we’re on the right path. About once every six months, a certain couple visits us with their young adopted daughter. They bring some donation and also ask about adopting another child or two, so that Jennifer does not grow up alone and spoiled. Today of all days, the father stopped by with oranges for the kids and when he asked for me, was brought to the back of the house where we were deep in our brainstorming and planning session. He jumped right in with all sorts of helpful advice and decision making. This guy has done construction in Afghanistan with US AID but now to stay with his family, he oversees construction projects in Bolivia. He also owns a dump truck that he says he'll use to bring us the supplies. I get the impression that HE does not do the hard work—he orders one of his men to do it! And he is ordering some to help us. I just stood in awe as I watched all these people fall over themselves to serve us.

We were actually supposed to have a large team of guys help us in May but they fell through when they couldn't make the deposit for the trip in time, so.... We're going with Plan B as far as free labor!

And on the funny side...

It’s been an interesting stretch for my brain to learn so much at once…..in Spanish AND in English. I’ve caught myself nearly saying “little cart” instead of wheelbarrow or "cube" instead of cubic, but when you’re using an ear for each language and making sure both parties understand what the other is saying, yeah, things get interesting! On top of it I’m clueless about much of what we talk about, so I’m trying to explain something that doesn’t have an exact word in the other language (or might not even be available), when I have to first get an explanation of what exactly we’re talking about!! Then there's the matter of translating Dan's inches into centimeters, or David's meters into feet. Somehow with all that barrier, we’re all catching on fast to the ideas and cultural ways of the other. For some reason I didn’t have to talk about pouring foundation or setting window frames with the house (building, really) we first constructed outside the city in 2003-2004. I just remember all the decorating terms, ha!

Hopefully we won’t run into issues between the shall I say very different Bolivian and US ways of doing things, most especially in construction. If Dan is doing the most [back breaking] work on the room, does he win, or does the country we’re building in win….? Well, stayed tuned for details on that one.

When Dan started today:



And a few hours later, a good beginning underway!

The better picture would've been one point, when three of us were kneeling on the ground talking about exact measurements in proportion to the building we're attaching to. For some reason I was holding the youngest baby (taking a bottle), Dan was holding the next to youngest (sound asleep), and David was sketching in a notepad as toddlers ran around us.

SOO...actually at Casa de Amor we CAN do construction and hold babies at once, how about that! ;-)

Wordless Wednesday 2.0

Somebody needs a haircut...

My day...

My day yesterday, which included a bit of everything...

• Made more progress on our very-soon-to-be-launched CDA child sponsorship program!
  

• Had a long meeting with a missionary and a volunteer about adding on a new room to the Baby Home!
  

• Went back and forth several times with Rachel (volunteer Sarah’s sister) as she designed our new blog button! (see at right)
  

• Set up a time to talk to an organization here about CDA becoming equipped to work with foster families!!
  

• (Sorry for all the !!! but seriously, all of this stuff IS super exciting!!)
  

• Replied to several emails, including a Bolivian-American who has never visited Bolivia but would like to support our ministry in some way
  

• Had two visitors, a Bolivian and a Norwegian, who work with the street population in our city. They came to visit one little girl but recognized half of our house! So we had a long unexpected but welcome chat about our newest 5 off the street, the situations that destroyed their families, how they were treated by their parents, the police, etc. By the end, I was for the millionth time grateful that we are able to step in and make a difference in these kids lives, sowing into them for good. It was crushing to hear how some were treated by their parents, being yelled at, humiliated, deprived the basics, the extreme preferences between siblings, used as human shields against police brutality—basically, abused in every way. But it is not easy to judge the parents, also victims of the vicious cycles of abuse and addictions. In one case for example, we learned that the mother has roamed the streets since she was 9 due to her broken family situation.
  

• Had a team of medical volunteers visit the Baby Home; took three of them to visit the kids at CDA II (a doctor, nurse, and EMT!)
  

• Took S. and Twins E & E along for entertainment, and all played well at CDA II
  

• At CDA II examined Jhoselin’s broken glasses... This time, they're pretty broken!

• Stopped by the grocery store quickly with two volunteers, S. (4 years), and E & E (16 months) to pick up a few ingredients for volunteer fellowship evening snacks. (Bonus: they had what we needed, and enough of it!)
  

• Picked up pre-op lab results for a child

• Evening volunteer fellowship time at III. The last time we had three instruments, tonight a single guitar but hey, beats the alternative!

• Ferried volunteers back to four locations before driving back to the Baby Home at 11 something... Interesting conversations about the ridiculous number of terrifying speed bumps here and wrecks involving animals and pets. (?)

• Talked to Mom and sister Emma on the phone for a quick catch-up before ending the very long, full, good day.

Two for Twos-day

Twins E & E,

collaborating on a ride

Child History 2.0

Each child comes with their own unique story:
heart breaking, tragic, with conflicting details, many unknowns and doubts...or all of the above.
Here is the story of two of our very first...

When baby Ben* was just 4 months old and Cora* almost 2, their mother passed away from leukemia. For the first month, their young widowed father tried his best to care for them. He told us how he would take both to a daycare on a bike. But due to his long hours as a construction worker, the daycare would close before he could get back for his children and he was not going to be able to leave them there anymore. We inquired about and interviewed other relatives, but all are from the countryside (far outside the city or VERY far outside the city) and had large families and long work hours of their own. Their mother also had a couple children from a previous relationship so her relatives were already caring for those children.

(Here a whole part of Bolivian culture could come in, about using the word “concubine” just as in Bible times, and how girls are encouraged to “get around” from a young age, and yet there’s the high risk they run with each new partner that their current children will not be accepted, and on and on…)

So after one month alone, their father went into child welfare offices and Casa de Amor was contacted. The children were just our second set of siblings ever, so we were thrilled with the adorable twosome.

Their father visited 1 or 2 Sundays a month (his one day off) for a couple of years. During that time he found out he has Chagas disease, an eventually terminal illness that some 60% of Bolivians are at risk of contracting from the bite of a bug that thrives in adobe structures and hay mattresses.

Then he disappeared. We tried to talk to him, calling him at his work, searching him out at home, questioning relatives. Finally we found out he had a new concubine…and she was pregnant. That explained his disappearance. It broke our hearts because we see the negative affects this has on his children, particularly Cora (he was never close to Ben, and Ben in fact has never brought him up) who always asks where her father is. Is he lost? Can he find me? Why doesn’t he come anymore? How do you answer a 4 or 5 year old who asks this?

One conversation particularly saddened me. I was just out and about with Cora and she announced, “Tia Jennifer, I know why my dad doesn’t come anymore. He is very busy working [our standard answer] because he is building a BIIIGGG house for me and Ben to go and live in.” Then she proceeded to describe how many rooms the house would have, where everyone would sleep, etc.

We have learned much from this case and use the story often with new parents whose kids enter our homes, or in conversations with child welfare or the court about following through with good parents. We always spoke very highly of Cora and Ben’s dad. The staff appreciated his willing help on Sundays, I always had a nice time chatting with him (even if his Spanish was a little funny because his first and main language was Quechua), and Cora looked forward with joy to his visits and cried when he left. But because we never pushed him to take steps to get his kids out, he ended up abandoning them. Granted, they were very young, and we wanted Cora to be safe, but we always wondered what we could have done better or differently. And now in any circumstance possible, where the parent is not an alcoholic or on the street, we do our best to avoid “losing” the mother and/or father.

We did have a meeting with their dad, his new concubine, and their chubby baby boy a few months ago. There the father promised that he would never deny his “flesh and blood” and that he is indeed still the father. I pointed out that being a father is much more than visiting your child…a couple of years ago. We carefully explained to them how they could stop the children from going to new adoptive parents, and they committed to go to the court with a lawyer the very next morning to halt adoption proceedings. I even half believed them, although we’ve been stood up time and time and time again with parents of the kids. They never went.

Now, enough about their sad past, and onto how the kids are! These two are perennial favorites with volunteers from any country, and more than one claims them as their children.

While living in the Baby Home, Cora loved on the babies constantly. We seriously didn’t want to transfer to CDA II because of the help we would lose with the babies! She was a first-rate cloth diaper folder from age 2 on! But we knew that she needed a different type of educational environment to continue to grow so at age 4 we passed her with 3 of her best friends from the Baby Home and she continued to thrive at CDA II. Now at age 5 1/2, Cora still loves playing “house” and mothering anyone younger than herself. She is very smart and a sharp observer of everything going on. During play time, Cora loves playing with dolls, coloring (which she is very good at), dancing with the other little girls, and games and educational toys. Now she is in kindergarten and is doing very well, often winning prizes from the teacher for good behavior.

A funny anecdote from Cora: One day in January I was making constant calls from both the house phone and my cell phone to coordinate things from their recent move into their new home. She started prancing around the room acting all girly, mimicking me talking on the phone. When I finished I told her she was completely silly and started to tickle her. She got a terrified look on her face and said “TIA!! You cannot tickle me!!” Of course I asked why not. She replied in all seriousness, as if her life depended on it, “Because, tía, when people tickle me I. can. not. breathe.” Oh. Ben, now 4, has a way of wrapping himself around the hearts of volunteers from around the world. Whereas his sister is the quieter, more mature one, he is a jabber box who keeps us in stitches with his antics, silly faces, funny phrases, and playful ways. His favorite things to do are play outside, swim, and learn phrases in new languages. I’ll never forget hearing him say his first words in the kitchen of the Baby Home, to a Scottish volunteer we had at the time.

Ben had to have a surgery just a couple weeks after Baby Alex (the last child I wrote on) and subsequent hormone injections. Now we are told he might need another surgery and he has a check up in a few weeks, but otherwise both have always been very hardy, healthy kids.

So that’s the [rather long] story of these two cuties, and I PRAY that their papers continue through the court system at a faster pace than they have been, and that they receive a wonderful loving family sooner rather than later. They will be a blessed addition to any family!

Pictures from top to bottom of post (oh there are SO VERY MANY of these two!! so I'm just picking the first few that jump out at me):

1) The two a couple days after their arrival
2)Ben taking his first steps
3) Cora trying to eat and sleep at the same time
4) Ben, January 2009 (picture by Brad Collins)
5) Cora, January 2009 (picture by Brad Collins)


*names have been changed

UPDATE: Help provide loving care for Cora & Ben for just $50/month through Casa de Amor's new child sponsorship program. Download THIS form to get started!

ONE cool thing about a dirty car

...is the message I find every time after I've been at CDA II

the latest message: "te queremos" (we love you)

At this time of year with the alternating dust and mud (can't decide if it wants to be rainy or dry season in Cochabamba) it's a hopeless battle to keep a clean car, both inside and out.

And so I find myself consciously planning to end up at the intersections where street kids often work, hoping for a red light and a window wash. I either pay with crackers (individual package size) and/or a coin, or whichever I can reach faster.

Now, every time I place a coin in a dirty outstretched hand, I can't help but remember this post "what's wrong with your face?" by a friend who works with the kids here in Cochabamba.

This is a very, very sad world.

stolen gifts?

Yesterday, a Norwegian friend who runs a home for boys with her husband stopped by with her parents, currently in Bolivia, and a friend. She was back to visit three of our newest, part of those removed from the street on February 16's police raid.

The visitors came bearing gifts: bags of baby and small child clothes, shoes, even some toys. But then she started pulling almost-new shoes out of a particular sack and explaining that she brought these shoes and clothes on behalf of the parents of the three. Although they are sniffing glue more than ever, drinking, fighting, and basically devastated about the loss of their children, they have not been able to think through practical steps to regain them. One bright spot: they are going to church every Sunday, black eyes and addictions and all.

This saddened me so much to hear. If you knew these three beautiful siblings with lovely Biblical names, believe me, you would be saddened even more than you probably are just reading that.

As we examined the nicer-than-usual shoes, my friend mentioned that since their parents are not working currently, she could pretty much say with certainty that they were bought with stolen money or from robbed goods. I'm quite sure my hand unconsciously recoiled from the most adorable pink pair.

I've lived in and/or visited Bolivia for 6 1/2 years now. I know what it's like to walk down streets where these people live, or more generally ANY street in this city and the constant fear/awareness that you could be the next victim of a pick pocket or hold up at knife point (or worse). Day or night, good part of town or bad.

And now stolen shoes grace the feet of one of MY kids?

To whoever's misfortune we owe the cute shoes...please accept our apologies!!

Random Picture Challenge

For this Saturday's challenge, we can pick from February 2008 or 17th folder, 33rd picture. I only have one 17th folder but it didn't have 33 pictures, SO....here's one from February 2008!

Volunteer Matt painting the roof of the playgound with my sister Emma

(hard to say which had more fun!)

February 2008 was easily one of the busiest months of my LIFE. We got two newborns, volunteers arrived, volunteers left, four visitors from Texas for a week, a baby hospitalized, an adoption took place... One Sunday I got ready for church but never made it there, it was that nuts and unpredictable!

Never a dull moment around here! [although if today could be really dull for once, I'd be so happy...]

PS - A blog button for my blog is in the works, yeah!!

the little girl we hoped to help

So, Little Girl V left us yesterday. I wanted to personally hand her off, but she was supposed to be picked up at 3pm and at 4 I had to leave to run about 8 errands downtown before closing time (luckily at 6 or 6:30 here). Later I found out she didn't leave CDA II until 7:30. But the mother and friends were very happy, which is good news.

I had hoped that in her first days with us, we would be able to see as a staff team that we could help her, despite severe cerebral palsy, blindness, and no professional intervention in her 6 years. As my physical therapist and then psychologist evaluated her, as I heard from the staff the details of her daily (and nightly) care, and as I observed her, tried to move her and hold her, it became obvious we were in over our heads.

It’s not that we couldn’t improve her quality of life, feed her a quality diet, and have her in the midst of a happy home and children. I have babies with CP in the other two homes and we’ve confronted a host of illnesses and delays in 4+ years with these children and we’ve always given our all to see improvements and advancements. But at this moment there are 39 others besides V. Each with their own needs, half with an appointment with a specialist (or two) in upcoming days or months. She’s not the only one I could give my attention to. There are so many others that need a piece of me—and that of the physical therapist, staff, volunteers, etc. If she was one of few, we could commit to the long road in days ahead to see the tiny bit of improvement we are told is possible. But as one of 40, I wasn't seeing how our staff could handle it.

You know how we Christians try to get away with dumb moves by using Christian-ese? Some people throw around “GOD told ME” as some sort of “just-TRY-to-debate-with-me-or-God” sort of weapon. Or “I have faith that God can heal!” [implying that I don't]

A handful of times in this work I’ve had difficult conversations with people who either say outright or imply that their faith is greater than mine for a child, and I need to accept the child in faith that God will work a miracle. It’s hard to explain, but as the director of this work, as the one who must justify each child entering with the government, our supporters, my team of paid staff and international volunteers, I can only deal with the issues that exist today, at this very moment, and not what could be with after prayer and faith and fasting. We do do that for our children and we have seen incredible changes and we do believe in miracles! But we cannot place a time limit on God to work.

I'm not comfortable telling Casa de Amor's physical therapist and psychologist that, after their careful, professional evaluation and observation, that I don’t believe their reports because, well, God will work a miracle. Who am I to say what God will do? But I’ve had people tell me, including in this situation. People who are not there caring for her as a one month old baby (who weighs much more), smelling her body (which reeks constantly, just telling the truth here, and I’m told it's because she doesn’t process toxins correctly), carefully placing the spoon in her mouth at every feeding and scraping it off the roof so that she will suck and swallow, changing her diapers (usually runny), witnessing daily seizures.

You need thick skin for work with children.

So now after 12 days at Casa de Amor II, she is going to a family that Compassion found near where her mother lives. That decision was made by several of us coordinating together after we presented the facts of child V right now, today. We would love to continue to help externally, such as with a special formula that we’ve tried this week that’s easier to digest. It’s worked wonders on her poorly functioning digestive system. But the mother has shown many signs of looking for an “out” to abandon her, and that’s not the best for anyone involved. She needs to maintain responsibility for her child—all three of her children.

It's a relief now to hear that everyone seems happy with this new plan for little girl V!

God has heard our prayers, and is perhaps working a miracle for her. =)

of babies & dolls

It so warms my heart every time I see the kids playing "mom" or "dad". Or even uncle or big sister or the family dog... For these kids who have a very poor image of what a "family" is, or zero idea whatsoever (other than what we try to "teach" them or what they might observe), it always blesses me to see them playing "house" just like other kids their age.

The other night I got in the middle of a whole baby fest! (The stole some baby dolls out of a pile to be donated to another baby home and no one could bear to take them back up again.)

S. changing her baby's diaper


A. suffocating wrapping up his two victims babies like burritos



Mother S. doing the baby sling thing!



Is this kid cute or what?! That's his fake "I-need-to-smile-big-for-the-camera" smile

Reminds me of this evening back in November 2007 when the staff were desperate for something to do before bedtime.

Carrying babies, Bolivian style!

note to prospective volunteers...

We've been blessed with many, many of you who would like to volunteer in Casa de Amor, Bolivia, the months of May, June, and/or July. Thanks so much for considering spending your vacation changing diapers and wiping noses in a foreign land!

HOWEVER, we are now completely maxed out, with 3-6 volunteers at all times through August. Since the inquiries keep pouring in and I don't like saying no, I've made an update to the website and thought I'd put a note here too, so that recent inquirers can pursue alternate plans.

That said, starting mid-August 2009 we will need two or three more long term volunteers (6-12 month service period), but several great gals have already applied so it's just a matter of weeks before those slots will be filled as well!

Of course, inquiries from families/couples/singles desiring to live here longer (2 years or more) and work as a foster family are still entirely welcome.

Thanks for your understanding!

And what a wonderful problem to have. :-)

Wordless Wednesday