Child History 1.0

Each child comes with their own unique story:
heart breaking, tragic, with conflicting details, many unknowns and doubts...or all of the above.
Here is the story of one who arrived last year.

Baby Alex* weighed about 5 pounds at birth. He was likely born prematurely, but we have little way of knowing. His teenage mother, assumed by hospital personnel to be from the countryside, was deaf and couldn’t make clear any of her personal information. She couldn’t even tell them her name. She refused to nurse or even look at her baby, making her rejection obvious with gestures and grunts. Most likely the baby was conceived by rape, since disabled or mentally ill girls are more easily preyed upon.

Shortly after being released from the hospital the mother was sent to a shelter for girls since no one knew what to do with her. (Some friends of mine think she saw her during a visit to that girls home, and said she was crying in a corner, alone. Isn't that sad? But no one could communicate with her.)

After a few days, she made clear that she wanted to leave and since the center is under-staffed, they let her go alone. We wonder—did she try to go back to the hospital to see her baby? Did she get lost while out? Or did she just want to go back home, where ever home is? I had just read a book written by a girl with deaf parents. My parents and I wondered if she could be helped with treatment, surgery, hearing aids….but with absolutely no data, there was no way to find her.

Baby Alex stayed in the hospital a couple of weeks recovering from respiratory distress syndrome. The elderly, long-time social worker of the hospital chose his name, giving him the masculine version of her own name. Then he arrived to our doorstep by ambulance! (There are so few in our city, one would think they could use their ambulance for better things...?)

As the social worker proudly passed the baby from her own arms to mine, she said “Here’s your healthy baby boy”. I just smiled a knowing smile. One can never tell right away with a newborn what's ahead. During his first months with us, I personally took him to the doctor at least a dozen times and the lab many more times. Some of his health issues were due to the untreated STD of his mother: chronic eye infections and bronchitis, calcium deficiencies and other mineral imbalances, lack of appetite and thus slow growth.

Then there was the umbilical hernia that just grew and grew... and grew. After seeking the most economical and yet safe option, we had it surgically removed by an excellent pediatric surgeon who offered his services to us. I donated blood the morning of the surgery since we had short notice. After the surgery, he finally became a happier baby. Since we can't imagine that the hernia bothered him that much, maybe it was because he was no longer severely anemic??

Of course, his crankiness and all the trips to the doctors and labs meant that I HAD to hold him, and seeing as he weighed less than a full-term baby for the longest time (preemie clothes!) it was a dream… A couple times I had him in a sling and carried another baby (or the twin babies we had at that time, in a car seat) as well. I shocked more than one person when my “purse” wiggled or cried!!

The past few months, Alex has been much better. His cough comes back often so he’s a regular at our “cough doctor”, but overall he's a cheery little fellow. And chunky!! Everyone jokes he should go on a diet. Since after his surgery when he would calm himself by sucking hard on his fingers (long story—it was a weekend and took me a while to track down the stronger pain med), he’s stayed with the habit.

He has a shocking lack of hair for a Bolivian baby, but he's on supplements because it seems to be due to his struggles with vitamin/mineral deficiencies. His motor development is a bit delayed, so I’m hoping to see that catch up soon. But anyway, he is now adoptable and I have hopes that he’ll be with his new family in a few months!

*name changed

UPDATE: Help provide loving care for Baby Alex for just $25/month through Casa de Amor's new child sponsorship program. Download THIS form to get started!